Preface from Midlife Marvels

I never thought I would be in a position where I would suddenly feel so empty.

I felt like I had an almost perfect life until all the pieces began falling away in my early fifties. It caught me off guard how suddenly I felt adrift, grappling with a profound sense of desolation. I became an empty nester only a year after retiring from a thirty-year teaching career. I found myself facing uncharted emotional terrain.

I’m writing this book because, in my search for answers, I discovered a gap in the resources available for individuals like us—empty nesters and retirees. I could not find a book to help me deal with the many emotions of these transitional phases. The books I found mainly talked about financials but did not deal with the vast and intense feelings that took me by surprise.

To relieve the loneliness, I researched on Google. I was introduced to a wonderfully supportive community of women called “Life Mentoring School,” led by Edie Wadsworth, and I quickly realized I was not alone. I had felt like a lone wolf in my struggle, but listening to support calls on Zoom in this group made it apparent that many other women were going through the same struggle.

I hope this book can give insight, as well as evidence, that there is a light at the end of what can seem like a dark tunnel during these transitions. Writing this book and knowing I could help others became a part of my healing process. I discovered putting pen to paper became a healing act in itself. Science even backs this up, showing that the act of journaling can reduce stress and anxiety, providing a path to emotional release and relief.

This book is not only a way to express the feelings that I went through during this six-year journey, but it also became a way to understand my real purpose to help others. It’s fair to say that the process took longer than I had hoped but was a fulfilling adventure.

Beyond the struggle of actually describing on paper what it is to be an empty nester, what I didn’t fully anticipate was how difficult it would be to process the many emotions I had not allowed myself to experience. I will share how important it is to enable yourself to experience the emotions trying to get your attention. I have also supplied journaling prompts and actionable insights to encourage you on your path to a healthier version of yourself.

Menopause, empty-nest syndrome, and retirement all struck at the same time for me. All my life, I always had something to do or focus on, and then, suddenly, I had nothing to do—no job and no child to fuss over. As if that wasn’t enough, my hormones decided to book a ticket on a never-ending roller-coaster ride.

When I finally decided to focus on myself, I learned how to deal with so many things, such as my weight, menopause, retirement, and the void of a quiet house. Although I may not be fully there, the process was a step forward to healing my soul. Living in the past is no way to move forward!

It is a gift of faith to believe that God has given me talents to share with the world, such as with this book. God doesn’t call the equipped; he equips the called. When you live from a place of love, it’s healing. God walked with me through this time, and I am so grateful.

Now, I invite you to take action. At the end of each chapter, you’ll find journal prompts awaiting you. In 1973, James Pennebaker unearthed the therapeutic magic of expressive writing—a process that heals. You don’t have to dive into all the actionable items I’ll offer, but simply knowing your options can be empowering. Some prompts might nudge you to take a small action because, in my experience, taking baby steps is more effective than trying to gulp down the entire sandwich all at once.

And then there’s the opportunity to delve deeper into yourself— perhaps even discovering aspects you’ve overlooked. One of the transformative exercises involves confiding in a trusted friend or family member and asking them, “What talents do you think I’m holding back?” It’s not just about self-discovery; it’s about fostering connections with those you love.

So, as you journey through the chapters, embrace the “assignments” that follow. They’re there to guide you, empower you, and, ultimately, introduce you to the person smiling back at you in the mirror.