I never thought I would be in a position where I would suddenly feel so empty. I felt like I had an almost perfect life until all the pieces began falling away in my early fifties. It caught me off guard how suddenly I felt adrift, grappling with a profound sense of desolation. I became an empty nester only a year after retiring from a thirty-year teaching career. I found myself facing uncharted emotional terrain.
Menopause, empty nest syndrome, and retirement all struck at the same time for me. All my life, I always had something to do or focus on, and then, suddenly, I had nothing to do—no job and no child to fuss over. If that wasn’t enough, my hormones decided to book a ticket on a never-ending roller-coaster ride.
I didn’t anticipate how difficult it would be to process the many emotions I had not allowed myself to experience. I have learned recently “the hard way” how important it is to enable yourself to experience the emotions that are trying to get your attention. My body began screaming at me by the day of shaking and nauseating headaches! “What is going on?” I thought as I had enjoyed a pretty healthy existence up until this point.
When I was finally compelled to focus on myself, I learned how to deal with so many things like my weight, menopause, retirement, and the void of a quiet house. Although I may not be fully there, the process was a step forward to healing my soul. Living in the past is no way to move forward!
It is a gift of faith to believe that God has given me talents to share with the world. God doesn’t call the equipped; he equips the called. When you live from a place of love, it’s healing. God walked with me through this time, and I am so grateful.
This blog is designed to share my six-year journey from feelings of despair through much anxiety to a sense of peace.