We spend the first years of our lives learning how to play and the rest of our years thinking we don’t have time for frivolity. Nonsense! When all the bells and whistles of life begin to slow down as we age if we have not held on to our light-hearted spirits and sense of silliness we turn into grumpy old people and ain’t nobody got the patience for that!
As we mature into our retirement and empty-nest years we will have more time for leisure. It’s important to have hobbies. Throughout our lives, we’ve often complained about the lack of time to do the things we love. Yet, when retirement and an empty nest come knocking, we tend to forget the plans we once made, yearning for more personal time. But fret not, because this is your golden chance to embrace any activity or passion that brings you joy, unburdened by the responsibilities you once had. It’s time to seize the day!
Research states, “People who have hobbies have experiences and stories that they can share with others. They also have specialized knowledge that they can teach to anyone who also has an interest in the same topics as they do. It helps to relieve stress by keeping you engaged in something you enjoy.”
There’s a misconception that it becomes pointless to learn new hobbies after a certain age. You’ve probably heard the saying, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” However, this is far from being accurate! Over time our brains still need challenging activities to keep increasing our cognitive functions and stay sharp. Regardless of your age, learning a new skill is one of the best things you can do for yourself and your brain. Engaging in hobbies can improve your mood, confidence, and self-esteem. Neuroplasticity is a process that involves adaptive structural and functional changes to the brain. A good definition of neuroplasticity is “the ability of the nervous system to change its activity in response to intrinsic or extrinsic stimuli by reorganizing its structure, functions, or connections.” Our brain has the ability to adapt and change throughout life, not simply when we are young.
One large component that stands in our way of desiring to learn as we age is fear of failure or making mistakes. When we are young, we keep trying, creating, and investing our time in discovery without this worry because others are there to ensure our safety and it is truly a safer environment to develop. Your concern about making mistakes begins to develop as you age and is there to remind you that we’re in a challenging situation. Our brains don’t know how to shut off this component to allow us to enable ourselves to truly learn from our mistakes. It becomes crucial that you are able to tell your brain you are safe and allow yourself the opportunity to be in a playful mood and learn new tasks in this phase of your life.
Unfortunately, “workaholism” is rewarded in our society and many of us do not take the time to develop hobbies and form a work/life balance while we are working at a career and/or raising our children. No worries. Take this time to invest in yourself, making it a labor of love to find your true passion that lights a fire within. Be it gardening, playing an instrument, trying a new sport, or any other interest you can dream. Go for it! I have always enjoyed crafts but did not keep up with them much during my years as a teacher. After retiring, I allowed myself the opportunity to learn how to oil paint. I found a wonderful studio that taught me the basics and helped me finish my first pieces before Covid hit and shut her studio down. During Covid, my son designed an art cabinet that I had a master craftsman build for me and splurged on a nice wooden easel. I thoroughly enjoy painting in my art corner and creating art to hang on my walls.
Find a new hobby or bring back a hobby from your past that you once enjoyed. I have really enjoyed painting again as well as taking time to quilt a lap quilt for my husband and crochet a heavy blanket. I have found a few tremendously talented people who were willing to share their talents with me. We have the benefit of technology and good old Google that is able to make the location of these expert teachers easier to find. I have also tried to embrace my own style and enjoyed taking the time to invest in that style to find my own creative designs. In learning I have become aware of “5 Key Art shifts”:
1. Abandon technique – create with your heart and soul to have your artistic voice go from good to great. Your art really does become better when you put a piece of yourself into it with your personal style.
2. Your worst flaws could be your best traits; embrace your boldness in your personal painting. If you make a “mistake” go with it and use it in your piece of art. Sometimes those “happy accidents” (Bob Ross) become your best pieces of art.
3. Being good at art is not about how “good” you are, it’s about how “you” you are. Good art is about YOU. Make your art be about YOU and connecting with others. Put your personality into your paintings.
4. Be willing to risk failing. In order to make more amazing paintings, learn how to push through your fears and take great risks on canvas. That’s the beauty of oil painting. You can take risks knowing you can paint over it and start again if you need to.
5. Invest in mentoring. This was big for me. Artists are very generous with sharing their talents. Take advantage of that.
I have found that these skills don’t just apply to art. Much, if not all your life can grow in abundance by following these steps. I have tried for years to lose weight by following other’s steps without paying attention to MY body. It is time to pay more attention to my way of doing things and embrace being me.
And don’t forget about self-care. Self-love and self-care are something that everyone needs to experience to live a happy and fulfilling life. Finding ways to indulge in self-care is one of the best ways to start a hobby! I had never taken the time to learn much about wearing make-up as living in an elementary school didn’t seem to require the time to apply make-up as children truly do love you if you love them; they are not very judgmental, something I wish we kept as we aged. So, I made an appointment at Sephora where they took the time to show me how to apply make-up. My consultant wrote down step-by-step directions for me that I taped to my mirror. It makes me feel good about myself when I take the time to make myself look my best. Self-confidence is a gift you give yourself and that in turn, you give to everyone around you because it allows you to show up for everyone else because you’ve already taken care of yourself.
Participating in something you feel successful at doing is good for the soul. My husband enjoys playing his guitar and golfing, so I get the benefits of listening to his music and riding in the cart enjoying nature while he golfs. Connection is good for the soul as well. Don’t forget to connect with the folks you choose to be in your life. Holding space for relationships is so important. Life is better when you are happy, but life is best when other people are happy because of you. Be an inspiration. Embracing your hobbies and sharing those hobbies with others will help you as well as those you share with. Always continue to learn. Lifelong learning has been found to be crucial to improving quality of life. The research on this is clear. Lifelong learning keeps the brain sharp and active, and that leads to a longer life.
Often, I thought my purpose had to be accomplishing a big goal, when maybe this part of my life is to simply slow down and appreciate the people God has put in my life. People need connection, especially in this era of technology when we hide behind screens. Personal presence is still so important to people!
Another hobby that I have cultivated since retirement is gardening. A family friend shared gorgeous daylilies with me as she pruned hers. She had been able to work at the arboretum in Lexington, KY, and harvest some unique daylilies that I was able to benefit from. I took advantage of having my son and husband home during the pandemic. They took the time to turn over the soil in two larger gardens for me so that I had rich garden beds to cultivate a healthy garden full of beauty. I truly enjoy the view from my deck.
As I water my plants, I have become intentional with my thoughts because every thought you water will grow. Let’s water beautiful thoughts! Positive thoughts I’ve embraced: “I’m living the life I always dreamed of.”
“I was made to live long and strong!”
“I love feeding myself well.”
“Nothing has gone wrong.”
“Every door I walk through I create belonging.”
“I trust that God is for me.”
“I live in complete abundance.”
“I find it easy to create joy.”
The reason the thoughts you think about yourself are important is because the way you show up in your life, for the people in your life very much depends on the way you think about yourself.
Take this time to get into the habit of asking yourself, “Does what I’m doing support the life I’m trying to create?” Focus on creating a life of lifting yourself up by fulfilling your hobbies and enjoying your life so that you can enrich those around you. Strong women lift each other up. I think we all need each other. We need a lot of love to walk through this life. We all need a hero sometimes – there are heroes all around us in unassuming places. You might find that you could be your own hero even if you feel broken inside.
If you enjoyed reading this article, please check out my book, Midlife Marvels on Amazon. This is an excerpt.
