I’d like to begin with a quote that has resonated with me deeply over the years: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said; people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” This powerful statement by Maya Angelou captures the essence of human connection—the feeling of being seen, understood, and valued. It is this connection that enriches our lives, especially in midlife when we are often facing significant changes.
The COVID-19 pandemic forced us into isolation, disrupting our normal ways of connecting with others. This experience, for many, led to a decline in mental health and well-being. But, as with any challenging period, there are valuable lessons to be learned. The pandemic was a reminder of how essential connection is to our overall well-being. According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, belonging and connection are fundamental human needs. We are wired to seek out relationships and community—it’s in our DNA.
In fact, if we look at ancient scripture, it’s written that God gave Eve to Adam because “it’s not good for man to be alone.” This speaks to a universal truth: humans are meant to need each other.
But how do we foster these essential connections, especially in midlife? Before diving into actionable steps, I want to discuss an important issue that affects our ability to connect—cancel culture. In recent years, it has become common to cut people out of our lives at the first sign of conflict or disagreement. I want to encourage a different approach: one of grace and understanding, especially in midlife.
No one is perfect. Misunderstandings will happen, differences in opinion will arise, and mistakes will be made. Rather than immediately cutting someone out of your life, consider engaging in open and honest conversation. Allow people a chance to explain, to apologize, and to grow. This doesn’t mean tolerating toxic relationships, but it does mean creating space for forgiveness and growth.
As we age, our circles may shrink, and each relationship becomes even more precious. Let’s not be too quick to let them go.
Actionable Steps:
- Seek Out Community: Start by identifying or rediscovering your community. This could be through social groups, book clubs, faith-based gatherings, or a class that enriches your skills and provides camaraderie. Find a group that aligns with your values and interests. Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you.
- Reach Out and Reconnect: Consider people you’ve lost touch with over the years. Reach out to them! A simple text, phone call, or even a letter can rekindle old connections. You’d be surprised at how much joy and fulfillment can come from reconnecting with someone from your past.
- Be Vulnerable: True connection happens when we allow ourselves to be seen, flaws and all. Share your journey with others, and let them share theirs with you. It’s in this mutual exchange that the deepest bonds are formed. As Brandon Burchard says, “Surround yourself with people who bring joy and growth into your life and who are secure enough in themselves to be real and solid whether you shine or struggle.”
- Create Rituals of Connection: Make time for the people who matter. Whether it’s a weekly coffee date, a monthly dinner, or a daily walk with a friend, these rituals help strengthen bonds and ensure that connection remains a priority in your life.
A Final Thought
As we close today’s reflection, I want to remind you that you are not alone. Midlife is a time of transformation, and it’s natural to experience a range of emotions. By surrounding yourself with a nourishing community, you can navigate these changes with greater ease and joy.
Remember, it’s not just about finding people to fill your time but finding people who will breathe life into you, who will celebrate your successes and stand by you in your struggles.
Take a moment today to reach out, reconnect, and find your people. You deserve to be surrounded by love, support, and joy.