One afternoon while I was engrossed in painting, I had an epiphany: the most valuable gift I can give my son is to awaken to my own life and embrace my unique gifts. Nurturing ourselves is important because then we quit meddling in their lives and focus on ourselves. Too often, and I’m afraid I’m guilty, we stay emotionally attached to our children and need validation from them and their accomplishments so we can feel good as a parent. It is much more important to double down on our own personal growth, and that in turn will reflect positively on the relationship and connection we have with them.
In taking care of ourselves, we release our children from that burden and create space for them to be their own humans to figure out life without worrying about us. We show honor to our children when we show respect in their knowledge to figure out and trust their decisions. They get to live their own lives and forge their own paths and learn their own lessons and will appreciate that we gave them the space in which to grow and learn.
One thing I have learned recently is that every action you take is made from the idea of fear or love. It was alarming as I became aware of this fact to think that many of my decisions were made from the idea of fear. I obsessively worried about my son to relieve myself from working on my own life. This doesn’t mean you don’t show up for your children, but it does mean you don’t meddle, and your emotional life should not depend on their emotional life. It is crucial that you create your own happiness; it wasn’t Joe’s or anyone else’s job to make me happy.
I asked, “How can I get to the place of acting from love instead of fear?” Think and speak the highest thoughts about your children. When we worry, we are delving into negativity. To help ourselves as well as our children it is crucial to think of them in their successful roles and believe in them.
We all get to decide how we want to show up in the world. Choose encouragement, growth, generosity, forgiveness, compassion, respect, honor, and hope. Commit yourself to believing in yourself and others. Keep deciding daily by the minute to think loving thoughts to create attractiveness and kindness to others. Accept God’s unconditional love to be able to share unconditional love with the world. God isn’t waiting for us to get better to love us. He loves us first; it is important to love ourselves unconditionally so that we can share the love with others because, quite honestly, you can’t truly love others until you love yourself.
God designed us for adventure and when we fulfill our own adventures, we feel more content. Loving ourselves is an adventure. Get on with the adventure of loving yourself so you can love you children well.