As we navigate the transitions of midlife—whether it’s menopause, retirement, or adjusting to an empty nest—it’s easy to feel overwhelmed or uncertain about what the future holds. These changes can seem daunting, leaving us questioning our purpose. However, it’s in these moments of uncertainty that perspective becomes our greatest tool.
Today, I want to share a story that beautifully illustrates the power of perspective. It’s a simple yet profound parable called the “Parable of the Bricklayers.”
Once upon a time, three bricklayers were working on the construction of a grand cathedral. Each bricklayer was asked the same question: “What are you doing?”
- The first bricklayer replied with a flat, expressionless tone, “I’m laying bricks.”
- The second, with a bit more enthusiasm, responded, “I’m building a wall.” While he recognized his work was part of something bigger than laying bricks, his focus remained on the task at hand.
- The third bricklayer, however, had a gleam in his eye and a smile on his face as he said, “I’m building a cathedral.” He saw beyond the bricks and walls to the magnificent structure that would stand for centuries. His work wasn’t just a job; it was part of something meaningful that would leave a lasting impact.
What’s the moral of this story? It’s all about perspective. Each of these men was engaged in the same task, but their attitudes and the meaning they found in their work were vastly different. The first saw his job as mundane, the second viewed it as a necessity, but the third transformed his work into a profound contribution to something greater.
Now, let’s apply this to our own lives. As we face midlife transitions—whether dealing with menopause, adjusting to retirement, or confronting the reality of an empty nest—we have a choice. We can view these changes as burdens, obstacles, or losses. Or, we can choose to see them as opportunities for growth and a chance to contribute to something bigger than ourselves.
How do we shift our perspective when life feels overwhelming? How do we find purpose when the future feels uncertain? Here are a few strategies to help you cultivate a more positive and empowering perspective:
- Reframe the Situation: Start by challenging your thoughts. When you find yourself thinking negatively about a situation, ask, “Is there another way to look at this?” For example, instead of seeing an empty nest as a loss, view it as an opportunity to rediscover your passions and invest in personal growth. An intelligent counselor at church reminded us that this phase really shouldn’t be referred to as an “Empty nest”; it should be called “Couples Again.” That’s a positive reframe.
- Focus on What You Can Control: Often, we feel overwhelmed when we try to control things beyond our influence. Instead, focus on what you can control—your attitude, actions, and responses. For example, maintain a positive attitude by reminding yourself that it truly does take more muscles to frown than to smile. Shift your energy into healthy actions, like exercising or eating mindfully, and treat yourself with kindness.
- Practice Gratitude: Gratitude is a powerful tool for shifting perspective. When you focus on what you’re grateful for, even during difficult times, it’s easier to see the positive aspects of your life. Try keeping a gratitude journal and write down three things you’re thankful for each day.
- Connect with Others: Surround yourself with people who uplift and inspire you. Sometimes all it takes is a conversation with a friend or family member to gain a fresh perspective on life’s challenges.
Perspective is a powerful thing. It’s the lens through which we view our lives, and it has the ability to transform the ordinary into the extraordinary. By shifting your perspective, you can navigate the transitions of midlife with grace, resilience, and a renewed sense of purpose.
Remember, you are not alone on this journey. We are all in this together, building our own magnificent cathedrals—one brick at a time. So, as you move through your day, ask yourself: Am I just laying bricks, or am I building something extraordinary?